How do I begin to say how much we miss you, Heidi?
I really have a hard time believing that we haven't seen you in six long years.

If anyone would have told me that I would survive for six years after we lost you, I wouldn't have believed them. The only thing that keeps me going is that I know that you are safe in heaven.

There still isn't a day that I don't think of you. I can now laugh at some of the funny memories we share. I remember all of our days together and I wouldn't change one of them...the bad or the good. The memories are locked in my heart forever. I can talk to you now anytime that I want to...sometimes asking your advice, or just telling you how much I love you...praying that you hear me and that you are with me. Its just not the same as having you physically here with me, but it is all I have now.

I still cry a lot (mostly when I am alone)...I don't think that will ever change. I will always miss you and need you...that will never change either.

Life can never be the same anymore. The day you left everything changed. You were such a big part of our lives, and you always will be. Nothing could ever change that. This is such a hard time of year for us now. With the seasons changing and the holidays coming. I dread them now and cant wait till they are over.

This year your heaven date falls exactly on the day that it did six years ago. Its so hard, Heidi. We relive the pain. That day was the worse day of our lives.

We are one more year closer to being with you, my precious daughter. When our time is through here, we will be together again. What a glorious reunion that will be.

Just know that I will love you for Eternity, Heidi.   Mommy

Six years...sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago and at other times it seems like it was just yesterday.

This year the calensdar is the same as the year you left. Our minds will recall the things we did leading up to that day. Wishing that somehow we could break the chain of events leading to that hour. Its always hard this time of year, but I feel somehow the nightmare will return even more this year.

Not a day goes by that I dont think of  you, Heidi. I miss you more than words can say. I picture you in my thoughts and in my heart. In many ways you are not really gone. In private moments, I can even talk to you.

For me you will never be any farther away than my thoughts and dreams.

I know that someday we will all be together again...what a glorious day that will be. But until that day comes, I will always keep you close in my heart.

I love you, my precious little beautiful angel


The mention of my child's name
may bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
let me hear the music of her name!
It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul!
~Author Unknown ~

My love for you is not written on paper,
For paper can be erased.
Nor is my love for you etched in stone,
For stone can be broken.
But my love for you is inscribed in my heart,
Where it shall remain forever.

Remember that grief is not something you get over,
it is something that you walk through.
My shoes are worn and my feet hurt from this walk...

 I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart
Although I heard no word.

I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind.)
I asked to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind.

I asked that God be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And friends to share your way.

I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small,
But it was God's loving care for you
That I prayed for most of all.

(author unknown)

There's an empty place
no one can ever fill.
And from the depths of darkest nights
only your light
could ever lead me home again.
Only your special grace
could fulfill the promise of the day.
I wish you were here...
how I wish you were here.

I turn amid the bustle of the day,
expecting to see you there.
A fleeting movement,
a glimpse of something familiar,
and my senses are flooded with you.
Shadows flicker in my memory
and slowly disappear.
I wish you were here...
how I wish you were here.

(author unknown)

I wrote your name on the sand, but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name on the sky, but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it'll stay.

There is a special Angel in Heaven, that is a part of me,
It is not where I want her,
But God wanted her to be.
She was here just a moment,
like a night time shooting star.
And though She is in Heaven
She isn't very far.
She touched the hearts of many,
like only an Angel can do.
I would've held Her every minute,
If the end I only knew.
So I send this special message,
To Heaven up above.
Please take care of My Angel,
And send Her all my love!

~author unknown~

In the wisp of misty moonlight,
On a bright and shining star
The distant sound of your laughter
Comes singing from afar

Dancing through the heavens,
Across the fathomless miles
All creation speaks to me
The memory of your smile

A memory not forgotten,
But tucked deep in my soul
As I gaze across the moonlit sky
Each memory makes me whole

It is said that memories fade with time,
Yet each day they grow much more clear
When I hear your laughter across moonlit skies
I know that you are still near

(author unknown)



You remember Pansy,  Heidi

I made her for you before you started kindergarten

 and sat her by the window to watch for you to come home

...she is still here sitting by the window...waiting

And every window in our house has a candle

 inviting you to come back home....




















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just music appreciation

The song playing is "I sure miss you" by the Crabb Family

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