Somehow I still have a very hard time believing we are apart on this beautiful Holiday of
Christmas, Heidi.
I know that if you were here our lives would be complete...
Scott's life would be complete...
life would be different...it would be the way
it was supposed to be.

We would be laughing and singing and hiding our presents...trying to find out what all we bought each other. We baked tons of cookies and candy, giving much away to friends and family.  We would decorate the house everywhere you could see, like we used to.  We would be planning our big Christmas party and buying a lot of food for it. We always wanted it perfect. Remember the year that you and Brandon took over making and serving all the h'ordourves and it was absolutely terrific. I was getting flustered and you and Brandon just took over. That was really neat! I was so proud of you two.

We don't have that big party anymore...we don't do a lot of things. It just wouldn't be the same without you and would be still too unbearable. Its such a heart breaking time for us without you, Heidi. You were always such a very big part of Christmas...you and Scott. We still go to Christmas Eve and celebrate "Polish Christmas". We have Christmas at home, but there isn't the same huge tree and all the fun there used to be. Dad and I get up and no one is here, and maybe we have breakfast and maybe we don't. We wait for Scott, to open gifts, and we have dinner and go to the cemetery. But something is always missing...someone is always missing...it is you Heidi and your presence and love.

I thought with time that it would get easier, and it has in a way...but the pain still tugs at my broken heart and it hurts more than I could ever put into words. I have tried to write poems and I can't do that...I can just write what I am thinking...and my words don't rhyme...they just come from my heart. I can just tell you that we love you so very very much...and we will always love and miss you. As long as I am alive, I will try with everything I have to keep your memory alive, my baby girl. Life will never be the same...never be complete without you. For all the hard times we went through, the good times outweigh them tons! I want to be with you more than words could ever express...You were always the frosting on our cake. Even if some of the family don't respond to your pages...you are still number one to the others. You are "OUR" special Angel, Heidi!!

If I could be missed as much as you, my Heidi, I would feel so Blessed.

With all of our love, Mom, Dad, and Scott

 

CANDLES IN DECEMBER

My sadness seems reflected
In the music that I hear...
Every young one's glowing face,
Reminds me you're not here.

Shoppers crowd the festive stores,
emotions all run high,
This world I was a part of once,
Seems to pass me by.

This season's meant for happy times,
For love, warm hearts, and cheer,
But grieving families around the world,
Remember those not here.

We struggle through the season,
Lighting candles to proclaim,
Our children aren't forgotten,
Round the world our candles flame.

I slowly pass through the gates thrown wide,
One clear, cold Christmas day,
No toys or gifts do I bring,
Those are gifts of yesterday.

I carry with me just a polished heart
That is granite made,
And walk with grief to where my child lies,
In a silent silvered glade.

"Merry Christmas Love" I whisper,
The quiet words seem so forlorn,
"I've brought my heart for you to keep,
My gift, This Christmas morn."

"It is filled with all my love,
Though this one's carved of stone,
I'll place it here---it will be near,
You'll never be alone."

Please keep my gift, beloved child,
Close to where you lie,
And know my love surrounds you,
Until the day, I too shall die.

Author Unknown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Susie...so much!

 

 

 

 

 

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