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Somehow I still
have a very hard
time believing
we are apart on
this beautiful
Holiday of
Christmas,
Heidi.
I know that if
you were here
our lives would
be complete...
Scott's life
would be
complete...
life would be
different...it
would be the way
it was supposed
to be.
We would be
laughing and
singing and
hiding our
presents...trying
to find out what
all we bought
each other. We
baked tons of
cookies and
candy, giving
much away to
friends and
family. We
would decorate
the house
everywhere you
could see, like
we used to.
We would be
planning our big
Christmas party
and buying a lot
of food for it.
We always wanted
it perfect.
Remember the
year that you
and Brandon took
over making and
serving all the h'ordourves and
it was
absolutely
terrific. I was
getting
flustered and
you and Brandon
just took over.
That was really
neat! I was so
proud of you
two.
We don't have
that big party
anymore...we
don't do a lot
of things. It
just wouldn't be
the same without
you and would be
still too
unbearable. Its
such a heart
breaking time
for us without
you, Heidi. You
were always such
a very big part
of
Christmas...you
and Scott. We
still go to
Christmas Eve
and celebrate
"Polish
Christmas". We
have Christmas
at home, but
there isn't the
same huge tree
and all the fun
there used to
be. Dad and I
get up and no
one is here, and
maybe we have
breakfast and
maybe we don't.
We wait for
Scott, to open
gifts, and we
have dinner and
go to the
cemetery. But
something is
always
missing...someone
is always
missing...it is
you Heidi and
your presence
and love.
I thought with
time that it
would get
easier, and it
has in a
way...but the
pain still tugs
at my broken
heart and it
hurts more than
I could ever put
into words. I
have tried to
write poems and
I can't do
that...I can
just write what
I am
thinking...and
my words don't
rhyme...they
just come from
my heart. I can
just tell you
that we love you
so very very
much...and we
will always love
and miss you. As
long as I am
alive, I will
try with
everything I
have to keep
your memory
alive, my baby
girl. Life will
never be the
same...never be
complete without
you. For all the
hard times we
went through,
the good times
outweigh them
tons! I want
to be with you
more than words
could ever
express...You
were always the
frosting on
our
cake. Even if
some of the
family don't
respond to your
pages...you are
still number one
to the others.
You are "OUR"
special Angel,
Heidi!!
If I could be
missed as much
as you, my
Heidi, I would
feel so Blessed.
With all of our
love, Mom, Dad,
and Scott
CANDLES IN
DECEMBER
My sadness seems
reflected
In the music
that I hear...
Every young
one's glowing
face,
Reminds me
you're not here.
Shoppers crowd
the festive
stores,
emotions all run
high,
This world I was
a part of once,
Seems to pass me
by.
This season's
meant for happy
times,
For love, warm
hearts, and
cheer,
But grieving
families around
the world,
Remember those
not here.
We struggle
through the
season,
Lighting candles
to proclaim,
Our children
aren't
forgotten,
Round the world
our candles
flame.
I slowly pass
through the
gates thrown
wide,
One clear, cold
Christmas day,
No toys or gifts
do I bring,
Those are gifts
of yesterday.
I carry with me
just a polished
heart
That is granite
made,
And walk with
grief to where
my child lies,
In a silent
silvered glade.
"Merry Christmas
Love" I whisper,
The quiet words
seem so forlorn,
"I've brought my
heart for you to
keep,
My gift, This
Christmas morn."
"It is filled
with all my
love,
Though this
one's carved of
stone,
I'll place it
here---it will
be near,
You'll never be
alone."
Please keep my
gift, beloved
child,
Close to where
you lie,
And know my love
surrounds you,
Until the day, I
too shall die.
Author Unknown
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