Its really hard for me to grasp that it has been 7 whole years since I held you and saw your face and heard your laughter and your sweet voice, Heidi. It doesn't seem like it has been that  long, but the calendar is telling us that it has been. We have grown older, but you will always remain 21 years old...that's how we will always remember you. There is never been a day that Daddy or I  don't think of you. I think that will be forever. The tears and pain will never go away...not until we are all together again. Sometimes we see someone who reminds us of you and we cant stop staring, and wondering what you would be doing now. I always think you would be married with children and just know the fun we would be having. Daddy and I do things, and always think what it would be like if you were here...it would make it a lot more fun. You always made things more fun with your funny antics and fun loving ways...you always made us laugh and always made us feel young. If we went somewhere and you weren't at home, when you got home You always called and said you would meet us where ever we were. We really enjoyed that. What a nice feeling to know your child wants to spend time with you. We remember when we used to go to Friday's and we would see your little head bouncing in above the divider near the door, and we would always smile. Or when we would be at the Road House eating dinner and you would come in and say you weren't hungry but I gave you most of my meal and you ate it up like you were so hungry. You always loved the big picnics we used to have here...we haven't had any picnics since you have gone. Things are different. Things will never be the same as they once were. Dad and I get kind of lonely sometimes. I sometimes just get so sad and my heart screams..."I want my Heidi back!" If only my wish could come true...I would do anything to have that wish come true. Life just doesn't seem fair. I will never in this life know why God would have taken you instead of me. You had so much to give. You helped people when they were down and were a shoulder for so many to cry on...you didn't even let your own personal problems get in the way of helping other people. I think about our dreams a lot (I shouldn't)...but, I will never be the Mother of the Bride...Ill never be a very important person in anyone's wedding, and never give you the wedding I always wanted. Because I had such a small wedding I was going to give you the fairytale wedding. The wedding every girl dreams of...Daddy will never be able to walk his daughter down the isle, and most importantly...you will never have that day...that beautiful day that you deserved. You would have been such a very beautiful bride, and you would have had the most beautiful children...our grandchildren that we always dreamed of. Lets face it...that's every parent's dream. My goodness...Daddy and I would spoil grandchildren to pieces! So whatever the reason...we just have to go on with our lives the way that they are. We just try to hang on to our memories . Sometimes that just doesn't seem like enough anymore. We see no way that our lives will change. I miss you so much, my Heidi, I ache for you...so much that sometimes it feels just unbearable.

You completed me......

Love, Mom

The song on this page says it all. I loved you from the minute you were conceived...and my love will continue for Eternity!!!


 

Whenever I think of our family, it is always Paul, Judy, Scott and Heidi...not four people but one thing. That will never change for me. It is who we are...even separated by space and time we are still connected and will be for all time.

We miss you so much, Heidi, but you are still with us..."the family". I will forever be your Daddy, and you will be forever my little girl. And one day we will be all reunited.

Love for all time, Daddy