seem to pick the same song every year for Heidi's
maybe it is because Paul and I decide on that
because we cannot seem to feel differently.
The pain will never go away...
The beautiful days we knew,
we are so thankful for...the happy Christmas's...
the fun and the laughter...
we were lucky to have had that ...
if only for awhile.
We thank God for the time we had with our Heidi
every single day.
We can every day remember the beautiful
with our children Scott and Heidi and their
...it will be imprinted in our minds forever.
that my Heidi and my Mom have sent my sister Patty
here to be with us this Christmas...thanks Mom and
set up the little 3 foot tree and a
No words I write can ever say
How much I miss you everyday.
As time goes by, the loneliness grows,
How I miss you, nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories,
And a photo in a frame.
No one see's me weep.
But the love I have for you,
Is in my heart, and mine to keep.
I have never stopped loving you
And I know I never will.
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches, this world are many,
But mine feels worse than any.
My heart still aches, as I whisper low,
"I need you... and miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply
Are often the hardest things to say.
But I just can't keep quiet anymore,
So I'll tell you any ways.
There is a place within my heart
That no one else can fill.
I love you.. and I always will!
Real tears are not those that fall
from the eyes and cover the face,
But those that fall from the heart
and cover the soul.
"Twas the month before Christmas and I dreaded
That I knew I was facing-the holiday craze.
The stores were all filled with holiday lights,
In hopes of drawing customers by day and by
As others were making the holiday plans,
My heart was breaking-I couldn't understand.
I had lost my dear child a few years before,
And I knew what my holidays had in store.
When out of nowhere, there arose such a sound,
I sprang to my feet and was looking around.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The sight that I saw took my breath away,
And my tears turned to smiles in the light of
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cluster of butterflies fluttering near.
With beauty and grace they performed a dance,
I knew in a moment,
this wasn't by chance.
The hope that they gave me was a sign from
That my child was still near me and that I was
The message they brought was my holiday gift.
And I cried when I saw them in spite of myself.
As I knelt closer to get a better view,
One allowed me to pet it-as if it knew-that
I needed the touch of its
To help me get through the holiday scene.
In the days that followed, I carried the
Of the message the butterflies left in my heart-
That no matter what happens or what days lie
Our children are with us-they're not really
Yes, the message of the butterflies still rings
in my ears.
A message of hope-a message so dear.
And I imagined they sang as they flew out of
"To all bereaved parents ~ We love you tonight."
Heidi...You're light will
CANDLES IN DECEMBER
My sadness seems reflected
In the music that I hear...
Every young girl's glowing face,
Reminds me you're not here.
Shoppers crowd the festive stores,
emotions all run high,
This world I was a part of once,
Seems to pass me by.
This season's meant for happy times,
For love, warm hearts, and cheer,
But grieving families around the world,
Remember those not here.
We struggle through the season,
Lighting candles to proclaim,
Our children aren't forgotten,
Round the world our candles flame.
I slowly pass through the gates thrown wide,
One clear, cold Christmas day,
No toys or gifts do I bring,
Those are gifts of yesterday.
I carry with me just a broken heart
And and a beautiful wreath I made,
And walk with grief to where my Heidi lies,
In a silent silvered glade.
"Merry Christmas Love" I whisper,
The quiet words seem so forlorn,
"I've brought my heart for you to keep,
My gift, This Christmas morn."
"It is filled with all my love,
I'll place it here---it will be near,
You'll never be alone."
Please keep my gift, beloved child,
Close to where you lie,
And know my love surrounds you,
Until the day, I too shall die.
To Live In the Hearts Of Those
We Love Is Not To Die"
~ Gladys Taber ~
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