I cannot even begin to tell you how much we miss our Heidi.

She made us whole...she made us feel life...she made us feel young.

Every single moment with her made you love life.

She could make you feel every single emotion there is.

She made us laugh, smile, cry, hurt, and feel like we were on

 top of the world

...She made us feel as if we failed, succeeded, and 

and then brought you back to reality.

 She made the world seem young and  beautiful.

Her love for her family and friends, and wildlife made you

 feel huge...

because of her big heart that made you feel on top of the world.

Like there was no other joy than making you feel loved.

Not many people can make you feel that way.

So proud to be her Mom and her Dad...

so proud of the caring and the love she had for her family.

Her protectiveness of us feel like we were the most special

people in the world.

As her Mom she made me feel special and needed, and so

 loved.

She never let anyone  take advantage of me or

do me any wrong.

She was her Mom's pride and joy...

She was my everything.

Heidi's Birthday...I cannot tell you what that means

to me.

I was taken into the hospital 2 weeks before she was born

 because  I had pneumonia.

They did an amniocentesis on me to see if

she was healthy enough to be born.

They had to take her because they thought that I

would not live without the medications they had to give me

in order to survive. (She was born on her due date)

I had a cesarean section with a spinal block, because

we didn't want anything to happen

to our baby.

The evening before Heidi was born and the

caesarian section planned,

Paul came to me and told me that an angel came to him the

 night before and said "My name is Heidi."

We didn't know if the baby was a boy or a girl.

That was not the name I picked for my baby girl...

but thought that his dream must be a sign.

I wanted a baby girl so bad.

When I took Heidi to her first check up at

her pediatrician, he was amazed that I was still alive.

I was able to stay home for the six years until Heidi

 went to school.

Those were the very best years of my life.

We were inseparable.

We played, loved and had so much fun!

We baked and cooked, and sewed, and

went to the zoo, had picnics (just the 2 of us), we

had our "tup of toffee" (cup of coffee) as she said every morning.

We made "bisketti" (spaghetti), which was her

favorite meal. I heard it so much that when we went to a

 restaurant I started ordering "bisketti"!

We made "pupcakes" (cupcakes) and baked little cakes

with Heidi's easy bake oven to surprise Scott and "Daddy"

 when they got home.

I made her a very special dress for every Birthday...

And they were so special. At that point,

I was making most of the kids clothes.

We played and lived life in those six short years.

God gave me that!

He gave me time...extra time to spend with my daughter.

Then we grew...a few of the years

weren't the greatest, because like all Moms

and Daughters, we had our differences.

But there was a part of us that is hard to explain,

because we were always there for one another

no matter what. We shared secrets, laughed and loved.

Since Heidi's Birthday was right after Saint Patrick's Day,

 we always went to eat ham and cabbage

at one of our favorite restaurants.

 We loved that...so did she! She always found time

to be with us.

In fact she always found us if we weren't home...

calling on her cell phone to find out where we were,

then meeting us wherever we were if it were possible.

Those were all wonderful years!

Years I have tucked into my heart with

all of my memories.

We were so lucky to have such a

beautiful daughter...

if only for 21 years.

I miss her more than words can ever say.

Dear Heidi, my life without you

seems so meaningless, empty and blue

Why on that day did the angels choose you

And why didn't they take me along too?

Your life held so many promises and dreams

But now all I have is memories...or so it seems

No marriage or grandchildren will come from you

I lie in bed at night wishing we could share

Another moment together to tell you I care

People have told me you're in a far better place

These words are no comfort,

 as I wipe the tears from my face

I walk in your room and look through your things,

Your stuffed  animals, jewelry

The shoes, jackets, and clothes you once wore

Are still in the closet and in your drawers

Your bed and your pillow are all in there place

But no Heidi, to fill up the space

I can "feel" you with me but it isn't enough

I want to hear your laughter and feel your touch

I miss you so much I can't possibly explain

The toll or amount of this emotional pain

Your weren't just my child, you were my best friend

And I've lost you until my earth life ends

And when will that end be, I can't stand the pain

My life without you just isn't the same

A life without you just doesn't seem fair

The days are so empty and full of despair

I pray for the day we will meet again

One year, five years, or maybe in ten?

What a day it will be to see you

No longer my heart will be broken in two

On that day I will hear your laughter

 and feel your touch

just some of the things I miss so much

But until that day just know that I care

I miss you, I love you, my "angel" so rare.

~ Francine Pucillo ~
written in loving memory of Heidi

Birthdays In Heaven

Are there birthdays in Heaven?

Does the angel blow his horn?

Announcing to everybody

That this is the day you were born?

Can the stars be your balloons

And angel food your cake?

Presents wrapped in moonbeams

All the angels helped to make.

Birthdays meant so much to you

They were always a big deal

Birthday presents, lots of friends

And perhaps a special meal.

So I'll whisper a little prayer today

Asking everyone up above

To sing you a Happy Birthday song

And give you all my love.

~ Author unknown~
 

~ Dear Heidi ~

Today a tear was in my eye

I saw the clouds up in the sky

My thoughts of you return to me

My child I miss you terribly

Remembering is all I do

I want to kiss and hold you too

Each day I feel my heart will break

I just can't seem to loose the ache

I sing a song and think of you

My days are long and always blue

I see your smile the one you wore

Tears will rush like waves on shore

Each day I try to make it through

Thoughts they just remain with you

My little girl who I adore

Want to hold you just once more.

~ Dear Mother ~

Mother you are in my sight

I'm reaching for you every night

Wings are wrapped with so much grace

Know that I have touched your face

I'm right her mother in the sky

Although you see a cloud roll by

My eyes look down on all I love

Prayers and smiles from up above

I feel you sadness see you weep

This my promise that I keep

I'll  always be there by your side

Kiss away the tears you've cried

Your special angel high above

Holding you with so much love

Smile for me and watch me fly

I'll never ever say goodbye.

~ Love Heidi ~

~ Francine Pucillo ~
written in loving memory of Heidi