I haven't mentioned the many signs that
we have gotten from Heidi. This song is so fitting and yes...we do get signs. Sometimes big and sometimes small.
The very first sign we got from Heidi was on the day of her funeral. At the service we had them play "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. We had requested that it be played at the cemetery also. When they turned it on at the cemetery, it wouldn't stop jumping. no one was touching the CD player or anything...there was no reason for it to jump. We can only guess that Heidi was saying "Hey...Come on...enough".
When I returned to work after losing Heidi, something started happening every day...sometimes twice or three times in a day. My one light would go off for awhile. I had this checked, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the light. Now I know that it is Heidi. Some of my customers know this also, and when it goes off, they say "Hi Heidi"...This is still happening.
One day when Paul and I came home from work, he went into our bedroom first, and he said "Hey...what went on here today?" I went and looked. There on the floor was a flower corner piece laying at the foot of Heidi's picture. Previously that week when I was cleaning, I had looked at the corner flower piece and thought it would look pretty on Heidi's picture on the wall next to our bed. Now, the corner flower piece has been on the picture behind our bed for years...screwed to the wall. It has never fallen. This day, it was laying on the floor right in front of Heidi's picture. I think that Heidi wanted the flowers on he picture. Paul put it there immediately.
Two years ago, after Paul and I came home from vacation and returned to work, I came home and had forgotten to get the key to the house from my niece who took care of our cats while we were gone. All the way home, I kept telling Heidi that I needed a sign. Anyways...I got home and couldn't get into the house without a key. I stood there and looked out back, and there...under one of the trees planted in Heidi's memory...was a beautiful white lily in full bloom. It was late October, and all the other flowers and all had been killed by frost.
When we were on our trip to the New England States, every hotel we went into...there was "My heart will go on" by Celine Dione playing on their music systems. This always happened in the lobby when we were checking in. We went to a hotel that we had taken the kids on vacation awhile ago...just to remember...that song played there, and after telling the gals at the desk our story (why we wanted the same room we had with the kids), the song came on and everyone cried. I do believe Heidi was on that trip with us.
At my son Scott's girl friends house, one night the radio was blaring in her spare room at three in the morning...she went in the room to see why and tried to turn the radio off...it already was turned off. Then she was going to unplug the radio...it was unplugged also.
On the door that we use all of the time, I have a wreath that was sent to us for Heidi's funeral. It was sent from Heidi's cousins. I have the wreath on a wreath hanger, and is always secure. One day...when there was a misunderstanding at our house...the wreath fell. Don't ask me how...the wreath holder was still the way it should be and the hanger on the back of the wreath was as strong as ever.
A couple of years ago, I went on a trip to Florida with two of my girlfriends. The lights in the condo we stayed in would come on and go off whenever they wanted to. I know that was Heidi.
On the way home from the trip from Florida, the plane had to turn around twice because of problems. The third time up, I was closing my eyes, and I saw a tunnel with a lot of light...I felt like I wanted to go into that tunnel...then I heard Heidi tell me to go back...Daddy still needed me. This is true.
I have had dragonfly's land on me. Of course I associate dragonfly's with Heidi. I have never seen as many of them as I have this year. Aren't they beautiful?
After we lost Heidi, I didn't want to do anything, and didn't do much. One day I felt inspired to clean the house once again like I used to. As I went from room to room, there was this same butterfly in every window of every room that I went to...like it was following me around.
I have smelled Heidi when I have been in the kitchen. I know that its her.
Paul has had "dreams", but I think that Heidi is visiting him. He dreamed at the beginning after she left that she came and she was sitting on his lap and she was crying and said "I never meant for this to happen , Daddy. I would never hurt Mom and you that way.
He dreams of her often. I haven't been able to dream of my Heidi...not yet.
Paul also had a full vision of Heidi. It was one evening and he was putting dishes on the bar before dinner. All of a sudden, when he turned the corner...there she was...for just a few seconds...but it was her. Its like he could have walked through her. He said she had her favorite hat on.
The night after we lost Heidi, Scott was in his apartment then. At two in the morning our phone was ringing and it was Scott...he was very shaken obviously. He told us that he was in bed...all of a sudden it got really cold, he sat up in bed, and then he saw Heidi...it was like a mist...she turned the corner, and he knew it was Heidi. He sat there and said "I love you Heidi". After that she left.
Sometimes just driving in the car, or whatever, a song will come on the radio...just when you seem to need to hear it. A song that reminds us of Heidi. Paul and I both get "The Dance" frequently.
Sometimes I do feel a touch on my skin...a soft touch that just says..."I'm here Mom". And you know...I know its you, Heidi. I know it. And I know that our love can reach across eternity...I believe!